I’d like to express interest in…

So the LA Galaxy’s Tim Leiweke has expressed interest in Frank Lampard.  Well not so fast Mr. Leiweke.  I’m calling dibs. I too am throwing my hat in the interest expressing ring of Mr. Frank Lampard.  And my interest to get him is only slightly less realistic than LA’s.


Playing on my seven-a-side team yesterday, we were lacking something.  After combing through the rule-book for my league and division, I discovered that we do not have designated player rules or salary caps.  And though we don’t have the finances, or fan base, or jersey sponsor, or stadium, or professional environment of some other teams, I decided that we too could use Frank Lampard spearheading our midfield.  So I crafted a media release, which somehow slipped out on social media.  This, of course, makes me a player in the Lampard sweepstakes.


But did I stop there?  I did not!  On top of Lampard’s slow and steady, our attack could also use a creator.  There have been rumors circulating about teams saying they would be interested in  Michael Ballack, who is about to be out of contract, so I am now taking it a step further and calling dibs on him too.  Here is me expressing my interest in him. There’s a German bakery near where I live, so that should even be more of an incentive to lure him here (Hell, it might be incentive for Lampard too).  German bakery, calling dibs, expressing interest That ought to get the ball rolling on getting that deal done.


I know, I know, that’s a pretty good midfield if my team runs a 3-3-1 in seven-a-side, but you know what else our team could use?  A forward.  And not just any forward, but a big powerful target forward. Perhaps, one who has stopped a national civil war.  And since I’ve already expressed interest in his ex and current Chelsea compatriot, I’d like to express interest in  Didier Drogba.  Boom! Done! Sign him up now! He would fit in perfectly with my eighth division, seven-a-side team.


Now that the attack is all but set, I’d like to express further interest in Rio Ferdinand.  There, express stated.  I’m going to pencil him in for Saturday. Hopefully he can deal with those former Chelsea guys.  But he is a professional, so he’ll do it.  Plus, not only would he excel in leading our backline, but he would help us reach capacity at John Henderson Soccer Facility.

Yes, I do declare that those are four good players to add to my seven-a-side team.  And since I have expressed interest in the players it obviously means I’m going to get it done.  After all, that’s how it works…right?

There is no media machine here.  There is no way that this could not happen. I expressed interest, so forget about finances and rules that govern soccer associations, because interest expressed is all that is needed to get a deal done. Isn’t it?


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